They’re virtual friends only, men and women scattered from here in Fort Myers to Virginia, Ohio and Pakistan.
Yet, somehow we’ve connected on Facebook and exchange book and movie recommendations and discuss journalism and the weirdness that is Florida.
At the moment, I’m sitting in the corner of a Starbucks typing away on my MacBook, trying to fashion this post into something coherent. If any of my Facebook Friends I’ve Never Met walked by I wouldn’t recognize them.
Not cousin Rita from Alexandria, Va.
Not Connie, who lives across the state in Hollywood.
Not Craig, the crackerjack Tampa Bay Times environmental reporter.
Not Mary, the photographer from Columbus, Ohio.
Not Ahsan, the Pakistani journalist who lives in Lahore.
Not Stephen, an actor here in Fort Myers.
Yet, they are among my favorite people in the world, virtual or real. Of these the only one I may have theoretically met in person is Stephen, who resides only a few miles away from me. I may have seen him on a local stage but I don’t recall if I have or not.
All these virtual friends share traits with me, such as a love of movies, literature, journalism and a heightened sense of the absurd. Rita and Stephen are also baseball fans.
Somehow, someway, I wonder what it would be like to gather all of them together in a restaurant or Starbucks for a chat.
How would it go?
How would it happen?
Would they be as engaging and intelligent in person as they appear on Facebook?
Would we ever run out of things to talk about?
Would we ramble on from morning coffee and through lunch and then dinner?
What would everybody order?
Maybe the best plan would be to meet with these Facebook Friends I’ve Never Met one at a time.
But the thought of gathering them all in one place is appealing. It might be another version of the Calusa Round Table, a group of writers I meet with for lunch every Friday at Gwendolyn’s Café in downtown Fort Myers.
The Facebook Friend I’ve Never Met I most want to meet is Rita, my cousin from Virgnia. Her last name is Mattia. My paternal grandmother’s first name was Roma and her maiden name was Mattia.
My sister and Rita somehow connected on ancestry.com and now Rita and I are the best of virtual friends. We love books and exchange recommendations and mini-reviews. Did you read this? What do you think of that writer? What made that book good or that book disappointing?
Plus, Rita is a big baseball fan. So the books, baseball and shared bloodline makes her the first among equals among the Facebook Friends I’ve Never Met.
When our imaginary lunch plans are made, Rita will have a seat of honor at the table.
Of course, I’d be honored to sit at any table anywhere with any of my Facebook Friends I’ve Never Met.
There is Connie, who attended high school in St. Petersburg about the same time as me. She lives on Florida’s east coast with her husband. She reads and comments often on my blog, making intelligent, insightful and downright profound comments.
I’m honored not only that she reads this blog but also takes the time to comment. We connected through mutual Facebook friend Jeff Klinkenberg.
I imagine Rita and Connie would hit it off famously over coffee or lunch.
Jeff wrote for many years at the Tampa Bay Times, where my Facebook friend Craig now works. Craig is an expert on the wackiness that is Florida and often posts amusing comments on Facebook and Twitter.
Plus, like my other Facebook Friends I’ve Never Met he is a big reader. Craig often posts mini-reviews of books he’s read and I then comment on his comments.
Then there’s Mary, far away Mary in Ohio. She’s a photographer and I believe once worked at the Fort Myers News-Press before I started there in 1987. Mary is smart and funny and knows journalism and loved her job at the paper.
I’m sure she’d fit right in with the rest of the gang, the other Facebook Friends I’ve Never Met.
Mary used to live here in Fort Myers and Stephen lives here now. Like Connie and I, he attended high school up the road in St. Petersburg. We went to different high schools within a few years of each other.
Connie is an alumna of Boca Ciega High and Stephen graduated from St. Petersburg High and I somehow or other was able to make it through Northeast High. The hometown connection isn’t why I’d like Stephen and Connie at lunch.
Like the others on this list, Stephen is smart and knows movies and history and the theater and sports and the law. I’m pretty sure he’s a lawyer because whenever a legal issue arises on Facebook, he’s able to cite a precedent that is pertinent to the discussion.
I imagine Stephen will get along famously with everybody else at our gathering.
Finally, we’ll need to find a way to get Ahsan to the states for lunch unless the rest of us can find our way to Lahore, where he works as a copy editor for the Dawn Media Group.
I’m sure Ahsan knows many fine restaurant in Lahore.
Like all the others, I’ve never met Ahsan and know him only through Facebook posts. He’s also one of my loyal blog readers.
I can’t begin to tell you how flattered I am that somebody in Pakistan takes the time to read this blog and make nice comments. That is Ahsan.
I’m sure Ahsan would enjoy lunch with all my Facebook Friends I’ve Never Met.
Someday, maybe, that will happen. Not likely but it is nice to conjure up the idea of such a get-together.
I have one question, though, if that unlikely event happens.
Who is going to pick up the tab?
Stephen Hooper said:
Nice piece, Glenn. In answer to your last question, I will not be picking up the Tab, as I do not like (and definitely do not need) calorie-free drinks. The bill, however, I can probably take care of. And if you figure out a way to get us all together, I’m sure we’ll figure out how to get Ahsan here too.
Mary Hagler said:
We all would be honored to attend the coffee lunch dinner Glenn… What a super idea !!!we feel we know each other from our posts and comments …. Wishing I were back in FM right now facing yet another day of caregiving hassles for Ron due to idiot insurance hassles wrong meds sent hassles etc it goes on and on…. So much easier were the days of Lallygagging sitting by 3rd base at Terry Park to catch a double play there and second for the mornings photo in Sports for Joe Arace Or grab some feature roving art trolling the streets of SW Florida for weirdness shots at almost every turn…. That was the life…. Now I sit at Starbucjs with my MacBook sipping a coffee frapp to hide away for moments of reality here in cbus…a to do list that’s endless but joys are reading your blog and posts and btw if you ever need a kitten boy can I help you out !!! Meanwhile hugs and love from cbus AKA it isn’t toooo bad here OHIO…..❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
glennmillerwrites said:
Thanks, Mary. Although our paths didn’t cross at The News-Press I worked games at Terry Park and even played in dozens of rec league baseball games there over the years. It’s a special place. Thanks for a wonderful comment.
glennmillerwrites said:
Thanks, Stephen. Getting Ahsan here may cost quite a few bucks but it would be fun to meet him and the rest of the people I mentioned.
Angela said:
Glenn, totally enjoyed your luncheon dreams. So many wonderful friends and so unfortunate the impossibility getting them all together. But we are all fortunate in making friends wherever they reside. Though you probably have an immense stash of books you are planning to read, I recommend you check one out at the Bass Rd. library. I will be returning it by June 13. The Restoration of Otto Laird by Nigel Packer. It is a 2014 work of fiction full of metaphors relating to life. May be the circumstances I am traveling through or some other reason but the book struck me as a wonderful and thought-provoking journey. Thanks, just wanted to share.
glennmillerwrites said:
Angela, Thanks. I’ll look for The Restoration of Otto Laird.
gregprescott said:
Excellent piece. Again!