I never learned how to operate a VCR, let alone a DVD player.
I never owned an eight-track, let alone a Walkman or an iPod.
I never use my ATM card, assuming I actually have one.
The list goes on and on and on. …
I’ve never shopped or banked on-line or posted pictures from my cell phone.
I haven’t signed up for Twitter or Pinterest or Instagram. Whatever they are.
I don’t know how to Tivo and don’t really care to learn.
Oh, I do own a laptop and I, obviously, have this blog and own a cell phone and I’m on Facebook but in most regards compared to most people I’m a hopeless Luddite.
There, I’ve said it.
Now, some of you may be wondering, what is a Luddite?
The Luddites were, according to my friends at Wikipedia, 19th century British textile workers who rebelled against new technologies that threatened their jobs. They broke some of the new machines and it took government action to quell the uprising.
The modern term has evolved to mean, as I understand it, those opposed to new technologies or slow to adopt them.
The slow part definitely applies to me. Always has.
When cell phones started becoming commonplace in, I guess, the 1990s, I scoffed at them and wondered why anybody would want such a thing and be constantly tethered to the rest of the world.
Now, I have one and never rarely leave home without it. I even take it with me when I ride my bicycle, keeping it tucked into a little pouch attached to the frame.
In most ways, though, I remain a staunch and proud Luddite, howling into the winds of change.
I see little yellow, smiling faces on Facebook comments and I wonder how folks do that. I don’t wonder deeply enough to find out how but I am mildly curious.
I’m old enough to recall the first video games being on the market. The first was, I think, Pong, or something like that. I didn’t care for the first primitive video games and have no use for the latest versions of the infernal things.
I don’t care for Facebook games, either. And I don’t know how to access Facebook on my cell phone and see no need to do that. I don’t take photos with my phone and even if I had a photo on my phone I don’t know how to get it from there to Facebook.
Furthermore, I don’t really care to know.
I don’t really text. Oh, I’ll respond to text messages but only if I feel the question texted me requires an immediate response.
This will come as no surprise: I don’t own a Kindle and despite being an avid reader I have no intention of purchasing any kind of electronic reading gizmo.
Yes, in a sense, I’m a toothless old coot, sitting in my metaphorical rocking chair on the front porch, railing against change, barking at kids and hankering for a return to simpler times. By, gum.
“Get off my lawn!”
“Sonny, you and the other whippersnappers, go do your texting someplace else.”
“Why, when I was your age we had to use rotary phones and had only three channels on our black-and-white set.”
All these people with all their gizmos and gadgets and what do they have to show for it? Are they interesting? Do they know anything? Do they do more than post photos of cats and engage in gossip about co-workers and celebrities?
Have they read “The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn” or “The Grapes of Wrath?”
Could they name one of the Marx Brothers?
Could they pick Teddy Roosevelt out of a photo lineup with the Three Stooges?
I don’t need all those gizmos and gadgets and programs. Thank you very much.
I have all I need. I own a cell phone to make and receive calls. I have a laptop for my work. I’m on Facebook, which provides some pleasant diversions when my news feed isn’t overwhelmed with kitten pictures or those memes (is that the right word?) sporting pretentious aphorisms posing as wisdom and all those breathless lunch updates.
I’ve got books. There are always books.
I stopped in “Back in the Day Books” in Dunedin yesterday and browsed through hundreds of books, intrigued by so many. I bought an old paperback for $2 – “Nicholas and Alexandra,” a 1967 novel about the last Russian czar and his family, the Romanovs. The author was Robert K. Massie.
Right next to me at the moment is “American Mirror, The Life and Art of Norman Rockwell,” a first-rate biography of Rockwell by Deborah Solomon.
I’m more interested in Rockwell and his art than I am in learning how use an ATM card or a DVD player or even a VCR.
Rockwell and the Romanovs to me are more interesting than another gizmo or gadget or cat photo.
To learn about Rockwell or the Romanovs I don’t need electricity or an instruction manual.
After this blog I’ll walk a few steps with the Rockwell book and sit in a big reclining chair here at my mom and sister’s house in Dunedin.
I’ll push back in the chair, read that book, one with ink on paper, the kind Norman Rockwell himself would have read.
Virginia Amsler said:
I knew I liked you.
That’s why living on an island suits me.
glennmillerwrites said:
I live in the past. An island would also work for me.
connie said:
So much of your writing spoke to me; and also reminded me of Andy Rooney ! Laughed out loud a couple of times.My Ludite tendancy is still fairly strong, along with the possibility of being a Druid in some past life. For many years I refused to have a microwave…or even a dishwasher ! Maybe it’s just the latent hippie in me. Finally relented. I just got an i-phone for my 66th birghday present.;had an old Motorola flip phone that I used when I worked as an R.N. for hospice. Was on that damn phone at least a hundred times during the day…patients, doctors, family members, supervisors….by the time I’d get home I did not want to talk to ANYONE.For many years I would make maybe two calls a month, if that, never texted, took few pictures. Like you, I have no interest in Pinterest, do not Tweet, for sure do not twerk, but honestly have to say I’m having a fine time with the amazing i-phone ! So here, at age 66, I am loving the ability to listen to any kind of music I wish, at any time I wish; take lots of photos and share with friends,(yes, I am an active facebook participant and that is how I learned of your good writing, and Klinkenberg and lots of other good reading; have a simple Kindle but only like to use that when traveling, or getting Moby Dick for free (and other classics), which I am really enjoying and am in awe of Melville. But there is nothing like picking up my John McPhee books, or Walden, or M.K. Rawlings ,any of my favorites, to handle the precious things and turn to whatever page I wish and re-read. Must have books around me, always, but confess the internet has opened my world of the written word and given me such pleasure in reading good words from people as yourself. So thanks, fellow ludite…live long and prosper ! P.S. Still have our VCR and tapes and do know how to play them….AND vinyl and turntable and massive old speakers.
glennmillerwrites said:
Connie, Thanks for such a thoughtful comment. Like you, I have to have books around. I never go more than a day between books. I just finished the Norman Rockwell book I mentioned in the post and before tackling the historical novel about the Romanovs I’ve started on “Cops and Robbers,” a 1972 crime novel by Donald Westlake. I’ve read several of Westlake’s books and always enjoyed them. He has a nice light, comic touch with his storytelling. And thanks for the kind words about my writing.